This was truly the first patient death I have experienced in the year I have been at Children's. I became friends with his parents online to follow his journey and I kept questioning whether or not it was a good idea. (The one patient family from HF that I became friends with is truly inspirational, Deb still teaches me things all the time via social media). It was one of the best things I have done. I have learned so much from his parents over the time he spent at home and even now after he has become an angel. You never realize when you are taking care of a patient how much their family can affect you until after you can process what went on. At the hospital we are always so quick to do our interventions and forget the true lessons learned. I don't need to be touched by how to string a CVP line, or how to suction a trach, what I need my heart touched by is memories and love.
These parents loved this little boy unconditionally. They love their family. Despite all the struggles they never complained, they never failed. I need to love more unconditionally and not get upset so easily. I remembered this week when I felt like I was dying myself, that it was only a virus and it was going to pass. Other people are not so lucky and the virus doesn't pass, it consumes the body and we are just left with a soul.
