Reach out a hand

Sometimes just listening can be all that it takes to reach out to someone in need.  I had a patient recently that was hiking 30 minutes a day and then the next she was in a hospital bed being told she only had 2-3 months to live, if that.  She wants to be there for her kids and her husband so she decided to go through interventions to help her current problems.

Just 11 hours previously I had talked to her and she told me that she just did not feel up to having another procedure and she should take a day off.  I encouraged her to express those concerns with the doctors and to not do anything she did not feel up to.  I wish I would have been there during the day to help her advocate more for that feeling.  We know our bodies the best.  When I came back to work I noticed her room was empty and quickly asked where she was, ICU was the answer.

I quickly got report from the previous nurse and decided to go visit her and tell her that I was thinking of her.  She was sedated so all I could do was hold her hand and talk to her in hopes she heard me.  Her pressures were dropping and they needed to intervene.  The doctor tried explaining to the husband what they needed to do but the words were too medical for him to understand.  He grabbed my hand and asked me to explain.  I put the words into terminology that anyone without medical background would understand.  The look of trust he had in his eyes in me brought me to tears.  I watched the ICU nurses stay chatting in their pod and not one of them came over while the doctor was explaining to provide support or listen to what the doctor was saying.  We all know that we have questions once the doctor leaves and it is important for the nurse to understand what was going on.

I worried all night about this patient and her husband as now I know he will get zero sleep because you cannot sleep in the room with the patient in the ICU.  This morning after I got home I slept for a few and then could not sleep anymore because I was thinking about this family.  I went to Panera, grabbed some lunch and caffeine and took it to the husband and sat with him until the son and daughter could come up.  We talked about life, not about the patient, and what it means to let go.  I learned more about life in talking to the husband in two hours than I have in 26 years.  This was a really touching day for me.  I know we are not supposed to take work home with us, but my heart allows for it.  My heart is big enough to help many people in need.

Sometimes we need to believe that every negative situation has a positive whether it be right now or in the future.  His love for her will never fail and he will be at her side through the rest of her battle, whether it be days, months, or years.

Memories of the past 3 nights at work

I just had to share a few of the memories that made me love what I do:

Scenario: We just had a patient admitted, they came up to us sitting in a bowel movement
RN: "When was your last bowel movement?"
Other RN's and CNA's: hysterically laughing as the patient just stares at RN

When surface conditions are slippery, wet, and unstable, walk wide stance, like a duck....

For good posture stand with your head tilted

RN tricking a CNA "When a patient expires, you must push on their stomach and get all the air out of them otherwise they will explode!"

Assess before you tell a doctor a patient expires...expired means no pulse, not appearing to have expired.

SALINE WARS=many many laughs

Sometimes nurses just don't have time for a break and have to pee their pants...so be it our patients do it all the time!

 After 3 attempts at a female foley...another RN looks at me and says "I suppose you are not friends with Ellen Degeneres"  Took me a min to understand it!

"You cannot be with someone like you, think about it, two crazy people on crack...too much energy!"

"Hold on a second, let me go get some more glue"

"I gave the patient CEF-A-PIIIIME"  "Isn't it CEF-A-PEME?!?! or is there a new drug?"

Scenario: report given at 1 am for pt being admitted for intractable nausea, vomiting, pain from another facility
"I gave the pt morphine for pain and zofran for nausea at 5 pm"
"well what was the assessment after that"
"they havent had any pain or nausea and have not vomited at all while in the ED since 5 pm"
"so, the admitting dx is intractable pain, nausea, and vomitting yet they have not had any since the intervention was performed"
"correct, do you not understand"
"(thinking, I give up trying to comprehend)"

Scenario: doctor (new intern) looks at nurse
dr-"well where is your guys call room to sleep in?"
rn-"sleep?!?  a nurse works a whole 12 hour shift taking care of patients, we cannot sleep or we get fired"
dr-"well how do you ever sleep then, if you work at night and you live during the day, it is impossible to never sleep"
rn-"you can live on your days off, and during your 12 hours of time between shifts"
dr-"oh, so in other words you dont get to sleep until you go home"
rn-"you are correct"
dr-"oh, so you guys really do work a lot then, I thought you could sleep at night when there was nothing going on"
rn-"well im sure you have figured it out by now since it is your second month that a hospital is open 24-7 and patients have different sleep cycles.  you sleep before you come in just like a day nurse does"
dr-"oh sounds interesting, im sure ill figure it all out by the time im done with residency"
rn-"I sure hope so"

Always Believe

The following article is posted on a friends blog that is aimed at helping young adult grads (out of high school and college) have words of wisdom.  I figured I would share it with you guys as well as her viewers!

Life is all about believing in your self and believing in others.  Right out of high school I went into Elementary Education because it was easy.  You did not have to write very many papers, there was not a lot of homework, I was a natural teacher, it was not hard for me and I did not have to learn much.  I did not want to be a teacher, I wanted to be a nurse, and I wanted to help those who needed it the most.  Scared, failure, and science were the three things holding me back.

I started working in a school and at first loved it.  The second year, hated it.  It was so political that it made me sick at times.  A majority of teachers would dump all of the work on us aides and expect us to teach the class while they got paid the big bucks.  They always say that you must love what you do and I did not.  I was unhappy and decided to make a change.

I had begun volunteering at a camp for children with cancer called Camp Quality and connected with my camper who was battling Ewing’s Sarcoma.  When I visited her in the hospital on the day she received the news that there was nothing more they could do she told me, “If I can battle cancer then you can suck it up and beat those science classes so you can help more kids like me.”  That was all I needed to hear.  I quickly made it out of her room because I knew what was next.  The elevators seemed so far away, not to mention the hug goodbye to her and her father that seemed like it lasted a year.  Once inside the elevator, I cried and cried and cried some more.  Long story short, I cried the whole ride back to Downriver and decided that day to make a change.  I finished out that semester as an education major and changed the next semester to a nursing major. 

In 2012, I graduated from nursing school with the Helen Mae Dickman Clinical Excellence Award, which is the highest clinical honors award.   I dedicate earning that award and my degree to Payton who helped me to always know that anything is possible when you believe in your faith.  I now love my job and do not cringe when I have to go into work.  Love what you do, it makes life more enjoyable.    

As a young adult, it was hard to leave a life that was so “easy” to go to a major that consumes your life.  Nursing school is no walk in the park.  You have to give up your life, your family, your friends, your everything in order to succeed.  When you think about your future, remember that not everything good comes the easy route.  You must struggle and hit obstacles in order to become stronger and successful.     

You Live and you Learn!

"One of the happiest moments ever is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change"

Well, when I started this blog I had just met my ex's family and I was on top of the world.  I was going to move to Miami with him and life the good life.  Career, boyfriend whom we talked marriage and kids, great family....yeah well that has all changed.  Have you ever faught so hard for something and then shortly after opened up your eyes and realized you shouldn't have to fight so hard for something to be happy?

I love to be adventurous and have fun.   I was beginning to adapt the lifestyle of others and become unhappy because that was not the person I was.  We all are different, and not one person is better than another, but we must recognize when we start to settle in a lifestyle that is not truly our own.  He wanted to move away to be closer to his family (which consists of a handful, unlike mine which is well over 200+ and growing every year).  I thought that sounded awesome, go move to Florida, life in the sun where you can wear shorts and flip flops almost all year round.  A doctor then basically hit me in the head and said why give up so much for so little?  It was true, if I moved away from here for a guy, I was giving up hundreds of friends, all the organizations that are so close to my heart, and most of all, my family who has helped me become the person I am today.  Who is to say that that guy would be here the rest of my life?  No one can guarantee any guy will be in my life forever, but to give up everything for so little didn't seem like a good choice.

I had a great almost two year relationship and I learned a ton but I am glad I opened my eyes and moved on.  I went from being a hermit in our townhouse to moving back home and having the best summer of my life.  I volunteered so much and started hanging out with people that I neglected.  I have made some amazing new friends who have already taught me so much about myself.  When the time is right, something great will come along.    

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer cannot destroy my faith.  I have always believed that what is meant to be will always find its way.  It is so true.  Eight years later I am still involved with Camp Quality.  What started as a search on the internet to find a camp for children with disabilities has changed my life in ways I cannot even express to you.  I am so thankful that the MDA camp turned me down and had "too many" volunteers.

This year I started as program and activities coordinator and then moved over to healthcare coordinator in February.  I got really nervous as camp was approaching because no nurses had reached out to volunteer.  After I approached our executive director, hours later she had a husband and wife who wanted to help out.  Coincidently, they were from Wyandotte too.  What are the chances?!?  We ended up meeting in person at training, and holy moly, the friendship that has formed is amazing.  Sister Chandler and Home Skillet joined me in the nursing cabin this year and honestly, we could not have a better team, (we also had guest appearances by Hash Brown on busy nights).  These two have such big hearts and have opened themselves up to the CQ family just as I had done seven years ago.  I am so blessed to have gotten to meet them and develop the friendships we have with each other, they truly are some amazing nurses/friends.  It is so great to meet people who have the same kind of heart that you do, not many young adults are willing to give up a week of their life to provide service to others.

It was hard being healthcare coordinator.  I am used to working 3 12 hours shifts a week, not 168 hours in one week.  Honestly, it is a 24-7 job.  We had campers sleeping in the nurses station, calls for us to come up to cabins in the middle of the night, oncologist calling my phone all week, it was busy.  I was so nervous to be responsible for the health and well being of 49 children, but it was well worth it.  When the oncologist called and started talking oncology, I was confident, I knew my stuff.  Thanks to Henry Ford and all the info that has been drilled into my head the past year.  I do miss being with a camper one on one, but I do love getting to know ALL the campers now.  

Cancer cannot destroy my drive.  It is childhood cancer awareness month so a few of us were posting facts about childhood cancer to make those more aware and a person told me that I needed to post a good fact.  What is not good about a childhood cancer statistic?  Even if it is negative, it is making one more person aware, and maybe that will trigger one more person to donate a little more, volunteer their time, or reach out to a child or family who needs it.  Plus, these statistics are more promising than they were just one year ago when we were celebrating childhood cancer awareness month.

Cancer cannot destroy my compassion.  I found out yesterday one of the campers I have gotten close to with both camp and For a Day Foundation has three new tumors in her brain and there is nothing they can do about them here.  Surgery is not an option.  St. Jude's clinical trial is the only hope.  When the camper needed to talk, I was here.  I will do anything for her that I can and she knows that.  Sometimes all they need is someone to listen, someone to care.

Cancer cannot destroy my ambition.  Ironically, I read the campers caring bridge after I had gotten done watching a movie, The Heart of Christmas.  It was about a young child who was being treated at St. Jude's and then ended up not making it.  Watching those nurses there, I know that is where I belong.  I want to be there for those children and their families when there is nothing more that can be done, or when they are finally in remission.  I want to know their favorite foods, their sleeping habits, and what kind of clothes they like to wear because they are there for months.  I got online and applied to Pediatric Oncology positions from Philadelphia to Houston.  I pray that I end up in Pediatric Oncology someday, it is my ambition and I will not give up.

 

Time flys by

Well, I realize I have not blogged in over a year.  Reading back on what I started this blog for, so much has happened.  I am going to get back into this whole blogging thing because it helps me get my feelings out.

After reading the previous posts, I've grown.  Boy have I grown in my first year as an RN.  Last year I was scared.  Now, I am confident.  I am nowhere near being an amazing nurse, or possessing a ton of nursing skills, but what I do on an every day basis I am confident in.  

Home health care nursing lasted 6 months.  I discharged my first patient and every time they called me to open a new patient it was either in a scary neighborhood of Detroit, or the patient had everything going on with them I just did not feel comfortable being away from a hospital where all I have to do is pull a code blue button.  I learned a lot from home health care but I do not miss it.  My skills were not getting any better because many of the patients just need vitals done and do not care about the education you provide.

Oncology nursing is my passion.  Midnights is not my passion.  I am struggling to work midnights.  The sleep schedule is hard for me because I am always on the go.  I do not know how people can sleep their whole day away.  Even after working 12 hours I am good with 3 hours of sleep.  I know it is daylight out and I think that is why I cannot sleep during the day.  Plus I like action.  Midnights can be hit or miss.  Some nights I spend 6 hours where not one of my patients call lights go off, all my coworkers are good and do not need help, and I am trying to figure out what to do next.  I see the ER full and wish that I was getting patient after patient so that 12 hours flys by.  

My first patient death.  I can remember it like it was yesterday and it has almost been a year.  My first code, right at shift change, 8 minutes into my shift.  It has been 4 months and I can remember it like it was yesterday as well.  I was so thankful for the two doctors in my first code.  We had a friendship so they actually answered all my questions (we all know I like to ask them) and helped me understand what was going on during the code.  Fast forward, two days later and its my second code.  Same doctors.  Fast forward two weeks, 3rd code/rapid response, same two doctors.  We are now good friends, we spent a lot of time together that month.  

In oncology you see a lot of death.  It's sad.  But it also gives hope.  It gives me hope for those who do not have family, I am their family.  I am with them at the end.  I can be the last person they talk to or see.  A husband and wife taught me so much about love and how you need to support one another no matter what goes on in life.  Another husband and wife taught me that family cannot tear love apart, no matter the religion, race, culture, we are all human.  

One year later, I still believe that nursing is the best choice for me.  I love what I do and I never want to stop.