I've got confidence

Ive got Confidence.  I know my friends believe in meeee.  No matter what the day may bring, I know I can believe in me. 

Confidence can be destroyed very quickly.  I was confident in my nursing skills before.  When I left Henry Ford all that confidence was quickly lost. 

IV’s and blood draws…piece of cake for me.  There were times when other nurses would ask me to start their IV.  It was just something I picked up on because of my great preceptor, Matt, at St. Charles.  When I was told I had to draw blood on a two month old I almost passed out.  Where was that confidence that I used to have?  Suddenly what you know is out the door and you are afraid.  Why was I afraid?  I have no clue, maybe because it is unfamiliar. 

We tend to become afraid when there is an unfamiliar situation.  However, why be afraid when we have support all around us?  God was not perfect, he failed at times so why can’t we fail?  We have grown up in a society where failure is looked down upon.  Failure is actually the best way to become stronger and more confident. 

I did not fail in that situation, I actually got the blood right away.  Thank god because the mom was staring at me, the baby was crying, and I was sweating bullets.  Another thank god that I did not pass out, as I have done in a hospital oh, three to four times before in front of coworkers. 

My confidence is now back where it was when I left Henry Ford Hospital in some aspect.  I do not give myself enough credit and I was reminded of that when this email popped up in my mailbox:

Hi All,

I just wanted to forward the kind words extended to Megan Maiani, one of our brand new IRP orientees.  Thank you, Megan, for stepping up and doing such a great job.  We are glad to have you here at CHM and part of the IRP team!

Thank you,

MANAGER (name removed for privacy) RN,BSN, ANM
@ Children's Hospital of Michigan

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From: D, C
Sent: Sunday, December 01, 2013 10:38 PM
To: B, J
Subject: IRP Megan Maiani

Ms. Bowersock,

Hi I am the alternate charge RN and occasional fill in preceptor on 5 West.  I had the wonderful pleasure of precepting Megan a week ago or so and she was AMAZING.  She critcally thinks on the fly, takes wonderful care of pts and was on top of everything it was refreshing to precept her.  On 11/30 I was in charge and she was my IRP RN, when I found that out I wanted to do back flips.  I unfortunately had to give her the split assignment which she took with no complaint.  At 11p the NAM decided I can keep her for the whole night and I had an on call RN come in, so I unsplit Megan and brought her down to 3 pts.  Later that night I was paged with two pts both of them had different diagnoses but they oddly enough both had scabies, yuck!!  I assigned one to Megan and one to another RN but Megan volunteered to take both so only one RN would be exposed to the scabies.  I absolutely love working with Megan, kind of sad she is an IRP and not a 5 West RN.  Megan is an amazing team player and a very skilled RN and just a joy to work with.  I just wanted you to know that we on 5 west appreciate the IRP help we recieve.

Thank you,

C D, RN

This boosted my confidence overnight.  It is not something that makes your head bigger, but it makes you realize that you do not give yourself enough credit for what you do know.   Even though patients are different sized and experience different illnesses than what we are used to, they are all the same, they need help.   We criticize ourselves too much and try to always be better.  Sometimes we need to be content with what we have/are and know that we are making a difference, big or small.

So next time you are doubting your confidence, know that someone somewhere is appreciate and recognizing what you do.  You know more than you think, and you are better than what you expect.